The first time I met Hannah was in seventh grade. We had only two classes together, but quickly become close friends. Hannah was one of those people that had an inviting smile, infectious laugh, and welcoming aura that made you feel as if you’d known her for your whole life, even if you had just met. When she was assigned the seat next to me in math class, we started talking and never stopped. In the short years I knew Hannah, we made many memories which turned into stories I tell to share her carefree and kind spirit with those who didn’t know her.
My favorite memory of Hannah was at my thirteenth birthday party. It was getting dark and everyone decided to play a game of manhunt. They were splitting into two teams and although it was my birthday, I felt lost in the group of kids yelling and shouting over one another, trying to choose teams. In the midst of the chaos, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to Hannah saying, “I want to be on your team! Come on, let's go hide!”. We ran to hide and ended up climbing a tree. We sat up there talking, laughing, and telling stories until we heard people yelling that parents were showing up and the party was over. We somehow climbed and tumbled our way out of the tiny space we were squished into and picked the pine needles out of each other’s hair before we returned to the group. She was always coming up with fun, out of the box ideas to make other people smile. During one of the many times we went over to drop off Robbie, Hannah and I played “ball pit basketball” in the small bounce house in her basement. It was ridiculous and we were way too big, so there was a lot more laughing and falling then basketball playing, but it’s memories like that one that can always bring a smile to my face. My friendship with Hannah is something I will treasure for the rest of my life. I wear her fingerprint necklace every day to keep her close to me and plan on sharing her story and the memories I have her with the people I know, people I’ll meet, and even my own children one day. People are lucky to know someone with the same warm and loving spirit as Hannah, I was lucky enough to have her as a friend and can only hope my sisters, Robbie, and people I love can experience being friends with someone who is even a quarter of the person that Hannah was. It is my goal every day to embody the positive energy and kind soul that was Hannah Duffy, and be the same kind of friend she was to me, to everyone I meet. It has been almost eight years since I have last seen Hannah, but no matter how much time goes on, her memory will live on in me and through me, for the rest of my life.
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In the fall of 2012, I was assigned to work with one of my 8th-grade students on home instruction while she would be absent. This wasn’t the first or last home instruction position that I would have, but it was a position that would change my life. Little did I know at the time, how much my life would be affected by working with Hannah. A few hours at Hannah’s dining room table turned into days, turned into weeks, turned into months.
The time I spent with Hannah is something that I will never forget. We both experienced every emotion you can imagine trying to cram a week’s worth of work into a few hours- anger, frustration, and probably most of all laughter! Even at her lowest points, she worked hard and had a great sense of humor! She laughed with me and at me especially as we tried to tackle 8th-grade science! Hannah’s reaction at my trick to remember that the Atomic Symbol for Gold is AU is something that Sue and I still laugh over! Hannah’s fighting spirit and passion for life were felt by everyone who met her, and the bond that I formed with Hannah and her family is something I will always treasure. ======================================== Sue’s comments: I’ve always said that people come in and out each other’s lives for a reason or a season. For us, what started out as a teacher/student relationship turned into so much more over the course of Hannah’s 8th grade year. Kelly was with Hannah during some of the best moments of her life (the picture of the two of them was at the 8th grade dance, and Hannah was SO happy to be there with all of her friends) as well as many of the tougher moments – there were many days where Hannah didn’t have the strength to do the required schoolwork but somehow they made it work and while there were plenty of tears, there was also so much laughter too. I remember one day being in the kitchen and hearing the two of them hysterical laughing in the dining room. Kelly had all sorts of tricks to remember those crazy scientific symbols and the trick she had for Gold (AU) was pretty funny…they were yelling “AU” (sounds like ‘Hey You’) at each other and were just laughing and laughing. It’s such a sweet memory and for sure Hannah never forgot that symbol! A few years later when we started the tradition to have a special Christmas tree we’ve called “Hannah’s Tree’ filled with ornaments from friends & loved ones, Kelly gifted us an ornament that has become one of my favorites. I chuckle every year when I unwrap it to put it on the tree! From teacher to family, that’s the legacy that Hannah left for us…. I remember being in school in 8th grade and hearing about Hannah’s diagnosis. It was almost laughable that cancer had managed the audacity to try a soul as resilient, strong, and frankly badass as Hannah. It was in those coming months of 2012 that it would later become clear to me why Hannah and her family was chosen to endure the unfathomable. As some of my memories of Hannah fade, her impact and relationship with me in my life is ever evolving. Still, Hannah remains in my memory as a fiery, blonde, skateboarding, sick soccer playing (again) badass, who was unapologetically herself. When someone has the courage to be themselves like Hannah did, it allows others the permission to do the same.
At Hannah’s funeral service, Sue spoke of her journey with cancer, and confided in us that one of Hannah’s fears was being forgotten. As I write this I smile, as if that in some universe was even possible, Hannah would not let it happen! Hannah continues to offer gifts of guidance in the forms of signs that many of her friends are grateful recipients of. One I will mention is when I transferred schools to Seton Hall and was asking Hannah for a sign this was the right decision – in my orientation I was greeted by a facilitator who was assigning me a leader to take me to get my laptop, when she told the leader, “Hannah”, to take me to, “Duffy Hall” and the radio playing THREE CONSECUTIVE songs with butterflies in the lyrics on the drive home. Hannah exists as a beacon of courage, strength, and vulnerability in my life. In times of great darkness Hannah and her family stared fate down the barrel and in an act of defiance instead exuded loving compassion. I continue to be in awe at Sue’s and her family’s courage to share their story, and I am forever grateful and honored that myself and all of Hannah’s friends were allowed to walk that journey with them. It was at the CHOP walk only 2 days after Hannah had passed that where I thought would have been great sadness there was instead connection, love, and celebration of a soul as beautiful as Hannah. My friends at the time quickly turned into family as they continue to be, and that is an attest to our commonality of being blessed to have been touched so deeply by someone as impactful as Hannah. In pain, there is a certain affinity to beauty. I am witness to that every day, as a generation of kids who knew Hannah get ready to graduate school and become teachers, engineers, nurses, veterinarians, athletes, and so much more. As we continue to share Hannah’s story and her testament of courage, strength, compassion, and that fighting spirit in every single one of us, Hannah lives on. How beautiful that Hannah’s story will forever be kept alive and the impact she made, unmeasurable. May we all look at Hannah and her family for courage to make an impression on this earth as powerful as that. People die, but I think your relationship with them does not. It continues and is ever-changing”. Jandy Nelson It’s so hard to believe that Hannah would be 22 this year. It’s weird how the memories of her journey feel like yesterday, but when I think of the last time I saw Hannah, it feels like a lifetime ago. The beautiful thing is - when you keep the memories and the thought of her close, it seems like time hasn’t moved, that nothing has changed.
Hannah was the type of person that you could never forget. Her spirit and soul left an everlasting imprint on all of us. It’s easy to think about her in the little things like driving by a soccer field, walking into the Pinebrook deli, hearing a contagious laugh, coming across a familiar freckled face, seeing the color purple, or watching a beautiful butterfly on a sunny day. But her memory goes far beyond symbols - the strongest part of it exists in the way we all carry ourselves differently because of her. Hannah is the part of my soul that was changed back in 2013. Her story was a turning point in the not only the way I viewed life, but the way I lived it. So even in the moments where there aren’t physical symbols representing her, Hannah’s spirit lives on through all of the people that she touched. If you want a glimpse of Hannah, take a look at all of her friends and you will find her in the way that we all live. When I think of Hannah, I can’t help but smile. Although she is physically not here, I have carried her with me through every milestone and journey. When I graduated college back in May of 2019, I held my Hannah ribbon tightly. I remember sitting in my chair during the ceremony, and with the sun shining brightly, I looked down at what other people saw as just a ribbon. But it meant so much more to me. It meant I was carrying Hannah with me through one of my proudest moments, knowing that she was shining down through that sun saying, “you did it Hager!” This year our beautiful Hannah would have been celebrating her 22nd birthday on March 18th. It's so hard to believe this will be the 8th birthday celebrated in heaven and not here with us. This year is also another milestone as she would have been getting ready to graduate from college this spring.
Each year we host a facebook fundraiser and last year I shared pictures of Hannah over the course of the month but this year I wanted to do something a little bit different, so throughout the month of March we shared stories from friends and loved ones in remembrance of Hannah. The following blog posts include those shared stories. She was an amazing young woman who is so dearly missed every single day - we hope you enjoy these incredible stories of love for our girl. |
Hannah Duffy Foundation"Love Always Wins" Archives
April 2021
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